Desire and Its Nature – Pt. 2

April, 03 2025 • 3 min read • 486 words

My PT2 of looking into Desires

This is a continuation of my earlier thoughts on desire. I still don’t have clear answers, but I am starting to see the layers more clearly. The surface is really obvious. Beneath it, things get harder and harder to define.

What I’ve been noticing lately is how quickly desire changes. The moment one goes out, another takes its place. It is not about what is wanted, but about the state of wanting itself ( which I think is insane to think of ). That condition seems to persist, regardless of whether anything is actually missing at all.

Islam touches on the topic of nafs, the lower self. I used to think of it only in dramatic terms, like temptation or sin. But now I’m seeing it in a whole different way. It shows up in how I avoid silence. In how I keep myself busy. In how I reach for something without stopping to ask why.

The nafs doesn’t care about direction. It wants satisfaction without delay or just as fast as possible really. It presents itself as urgency. It tells you the feeling must be answered now. Not later. Not questioned. Just acted on. GO GO GO!

I’ve followed that urge ( desire ) more times than I can count. And it’s not always dramatic. Sometimes it’s as simple as needing to open a screen. To refresh. To escape a moment of stillness that feels very uncomfortable.

I’ve been trying to slow down. Not because I think I’ve mastered anything, but because I’ve seen what happens when I don’t. Life becomes scattered and nothing is inline. Rest becomes avoidance. And days pass without any real sense of where they went.

What I’m trying to understand is this: maybe not every desire is a signal or sign to act. Maybe some are just noise. And maybe learning to tell the difference is part of what it means to grow and live(that sounded better in my head I swear).

There is still a pull in me to chase. To improve something. To fix, to plan, to reach. But I’m questioning that now. Is the reaching necessary? Or is it just the nafs refusing to sit still? Reaching and wanting isn’t evil, rather knowing which is good for your soul, self, and everything around you is the most important skill for self-improvement. Like no joke.

There is something difficult but important about sitting with discomfort. Letting the feeling exist without immediately reacting. That is where I’ve started to notice the gap. The space between desire and decision. And in that space, something quieter exists. Something closer to clarity. The goal is to get tighter with religion, I think it brings discipline and a route back to the source of your soul.”

I haven’t arrived at anything final. But I’m more aware. And for now, that feels like progress at least.